Posted on: 12 June 2017Share
Getting a divorce can be complicated, painful, life changing, and costly, but when children are involved, the stakes can be even higher, especially if you are a man. While there have been some shifts in recent years, it is still common for mothers to be awarded full custody while the father is reduced to simply providing the monthly child support check. Children certainly need their mother, particularly when they are very young, but this should not diminish the importance of the role a father plays in life. When emotions are strong, the children can become a tug-of-war between the two parties. Here are three ways you can help your lawyer (like those at Cotto Law Firm P.C.) present you in the best light to the courts so you walk away with more than just a court-ordered child support obligation.
Be Actively Involved In Their Lives
Just because you are not living full-time with your children anymore, this doesn't mean you only have to worry about your time with them. You may not have them this weekend, but you still need to show up to their Little League game at the park on Saturday morning, their fifth-grade talent show on Friday night, and the family's church service on Sunday morning. Be sure to document your participation, whether it's with a tithe record or photos with your son after each game. This will protect you should things turn really contentious.
Develop A Support Network
You will fare better with the court system if you can prove you have adequate resources to help you successfully parent your child. This includes having extended family involvement, but it also means things like having a trusted childcare provider or an emergency back-up babysitter if they become ill and you can't leave work. Many times women have a better grip in this area because they have previously handled these issues. Start building a reliable support system now. You may also want to consider taking parenting classes or attending counseling sessions to further prove you're are committed to putting in the effort to be the best father you can be to your children.
Treat Their Mother With Respect
You may be getting divorced, and you almost certainly have unresolved hurts and issues, but your children are still half her. Do not talk badly about her to your kids. Protect their self-esteem and build them up by recognizing her good traits. This will go a long way, not only in the emotional health of your child, but in your case's final decision should the judge decide to speak to the children.